


Did You Know Water Hurts Endermen?

by Shenaniganary



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Burns, Canon-Typical Violence, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Violence, but at what cost, l'manburg, ranboo is part of the sleepybois in canon now, respectfully ignoring canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28636461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenaniganary/pseuds/Shenaniganary
Summary: After realizing that trying to kill dream during the festival was a bad idea, and discovering a certain memory book, the L’manburg cabinet decide to change their execution plans.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 771





	Did You Know Water Hurts Endermen?

The festival is tomorrow.

For the past few weeks Ranboo’s thoughts had always come back to the festival. But why?

It was going to be okay! He had worked tirelessly on his game for ages, testing it and making sure it was perfect. It was challenging enough to be fun and there was no way that it could be exploited, nothing about it would go wrong.

Fundy’s game would be great too! Sure, Ranboo hadn’t seen any physical evidence of it at all, but that was probably his fault, he often didn’t pay attention to his surroundings. And no, he couldn’t remember the last time Fundy had updated him on his progress, but Ranboo wasn’t exactly known for his good memory. And maybe he had barely lifted a finger to help Ranboo with setting up the decorations, but that was Ranboo’s job, he was just being a baby, it wasn’t that much work. Fundy would deliver, he promised, the fox had given him his word, and he had no reason to lie, right? No, he and Ranboo are friends, he trusts him.

Ranboo twirled his quill between his fingers, his memory book had gone missing for a while, he really should be updating it, but he was drawing a blank. Ever since he’d misplaced the book his memory had been slipping. It had been getting worse for a while, maybe due to stress or his terrible sleeping habits. Regardless, his point was, it was getting patchier by the day, his past couple of weeks a complete blur.

He flicked back a few pages in his book to a mostly blank page, one line scrawled at the top in his ugly handwriting read, ‘The festival is going to go great!’ Where had all that enthusiasm gone? Come on, stop moping and stop worrying it’s no way to think! Tomorrow will be fine.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Tomorrow was not fine.

First, Ranboo had woken up late, which was an exceedingly rare occurrence for him. “Why today?” he groaned to himself as he scrambled to get dressed, it was a short process, he’d fallen asleep at his desk with almost everything on, bar his jacket, crown and shoes. He was missing something. He knocked into a few things, resulting in a couple of concerning crashing sounds he didn’t have time to assess, as he frantically searched for… What was he looking for? He didn’t even know. No time to ponder now. Ranboo dashed out of his house, slamming the door shut behind him, and towards the meeting he was getting dangerously close to missing the start of.

Luckily, he didn’t miss any of the meeting, his long legs managed to get him there before anything had happened, so the meeting commenced. Nobody wanted his opinion on anything, as per usual, why did he even attend these? So, he took a moment to study his co-workers.

Quackity looked about as professional as he ever got, he wore his fancy black suit and blue tie, but he had trainers on and the hair poking out of his beanie was messy. He spoke the most out of anyone in the cabinet, his tone was sharp and had an angry undertone that made Ranboo nervous. It didn’t bother anyone else though, so maybe that was just how he was.

Fundy looked disinterested in whatever he was going on about, he was looking off to the side, staring into space, not bothering to react unless someone looked his way. If they did, he’d nod once or twice before going right back to not paying attention. he’d been participating in these meetings less and less as of late, Ranboo didn’t think he liked being in the government. The young man enjoyed the power he had, that much was obvious, but he hated just about all the responsibility that came with it. The last time he’d seen Fundy legitimately excited to do his job was when they went to round up Technoblade. 

And Tubbo, poor president Tubbo. The kid looked frazzled, exhausted as he tried to speak to Quackity. Despite the obvious bags under his eyes, he continued to put on his polite people pleaser smile and didn’t dare raise his voice at his VP. It was the little things that gave away how tired he was; the way his undershirt was sloppily buttoned, when in front of the public he’d just button his jacket over it, but in the presence of his cabinet, he didn’t bother. His chocolate brown roots were becoming obvious, he hadn’t bothered to bleach his hair in a while, when Ranboo had met him a few months ago, he took pride in his blonde hair. Now, he left it messy, unbrushed and free to grow from the smart short back and sides it had been not too long ago.

Ranboo had to give him credit, he doubted the public would notice anything wrong, maybe if he didn’t constantly overanalyse everything, he wouldn’t either. Then again, the public didn’t seem to notice much of anything really, they live in ignorant bliss, unaware of the state of their nation and of their government.

Ranboo decided he was done lingering in his own thoughts and tuned back into the conversation.

As it turned out, despite the weeks of lead up to this event, nobody had really bothered to plan much of anything. No one had any idea what was going on, this event was meant to be a coverup of dreams execution, but neither Tubbo nor Quackity, the two people who were meant to oversee that part, had much of an idea on how they were going to kill him. Fundy, who didn’t have much of a role other than, help set up decorations, make a game or two, and be there, admitted he hadn’t set anything up, other than a game he threw together last night.

But it would be fine, they could handle it. Outside a group had started to form in the middle of the main platform, it was go time. It’ll be okay, it’ll be fine. Ranboo chanted to himself as he followed the other three cabinet members to the podium for Tubbo’s speech, falling behind them by a tad so he wouldn’t get in the way.

When Tubbo began to fumble through his speech, tripping over his words and admitting he hadn’t written anything before hand, it surprised Ranboo. He was usually so well spoken, Tubbo’s speech was one of the only things Ranboo thought he wouldn’t have to worry about. And even though Ranboo really couldn’t say anything, he was a stuttering mess when speaking to more than like four people, the speech was awful. Quackity stepped in last second while Tubbo was stumbling through what sounded like the end of his speech and tried to save it. He strode confidently to the front, using the weird amount of bravado he had and managed to whoop and shout the silent crowd back to life.

“Thanks, Big Q” he heard Tubbo whisper to the VP as they made their way down to the crowd.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

From afar, a pair of netherite-clad brothers sat, waiting for their time to strike. They were going to crash this festival, and it was not going to be pretty when they did.

But for now, they had to wait for the opportunity to arise.

. . . . . . . . . . . .  
After reaching the main platform, Fundy led everybody over to a flat patch of land and introduced his game. It was a shoddily made ring toss, yeah, he could really tell Fundy had only thrown this together last night. At least he did his job, he supposed.

The rules to Fundy’s game were simple, there were six rounds, every player got a different colour ring and the goal was to get the closest to the single pole stuck in the ground, whoever got the closest was awarded with a point and a cookie. Each round Fundy would move the position of the pole, and at the end of the six rounds whoever got the most points got all the cookies.

Briefly, Ranboo wondered how much convincing Fundy had to do to get Nikki to give him so many cookies. She owned the only bakery around, so they had to be hers, and Ranboo doubted Fundy actually paid for them, he probably just begged now that he thought about it. Poor Nikki, she appeared to everyone as a pushover, but in reality, she just couldn’t be bothered to argue anymore. It made him sad to think about the many times Nikki had complained to him about the treatment she received here…

The game didn’t last six rounds, Punz won by a landslide, three points in a row, and was proclaimed winner. Now that they’d had practice, the players decided to have another round or two, just for fun, but since he wasn’t playing, Ranboo lost interest quickly. What did capture his attention was the absence of his other two cabinet members, Tubbo and Quackity. Sometime, during all the commotion of the game, they must’ve slipped away to talk. How hadn’t he noticed that?

He glanced around for the pair and his eyes landed on Fundy, who was sneaking away, and watched as he joined them on the center platform. What were they talking about? Quackity looked angry, he waved his hands around dramatically and was getting up in Tubbo’s face, he didn’t look too happy either, judging by his balled fists and creased brow. Fundy seemed largely left out of the conversation, opting to stand to the side and listen.

Quackity kept glancing over his shoulder, what was he looking at? Ranboo tried following his eyes, and…

”He- he’s not, looking at me, right?” no he couldn’t be, his brain supplied, he has no reason to, Ranboo hadn’t done anything wrong. Well, nothing that Quackity could know about… unless. Was he the person who took his memory book? When Ranboo had found it a few days earlier, it was in one of his upstairs chests and definitely not where he left it.

“Ow!” A sharp pain in his neck, not dissimilar to a pin prick, shook Ranboo out of his own head. “What?” he muttered, before realising, it’s raining. Not now! The rain was bad for a multitude of reasons, the most prominent being it really hurt. Ranboo ran into his house and looked around for his raincoat. Where- oh, oh no. he left it in Techno’s last time he visited, stupid Ranboo!

His helmet would have to do, he was already well covered, the only bit of exposed skin was his neck and face, really, so it should be fine. Anyways his friends would be mad if he didn’t get back out there, even if it meant subjecting himself to the anxiety being out in the rain gave him, he had to. So, with a deep breath and only a slight hesitation in his doorway, Ranboo exited his house.

And what good timing! Quackity and the others were also walking back over, hopefully everything would be alright now. 

“What the fuck Ranboo?” Quackity yelled as he stomped over, what? What did he do? He opened his mouth to ask but Quackity cut him off, “You know there’s a no armor policy in L’manburg, right?” it wasn’t really a question, it was an accusation. “Yeah, I know but, I need to wear something in the rain, I’m sorry.” He tried to defend himself, but he trailed off towards the end at Quackity’s glare. He held direct eye contact on purpose, he knew Ranboo hated it. He went to speak again, but Tubbo put a hand on his shoulder, “I think we can make an exception, just this once.” He spoke, his calm voice strained. He shouldn’t have to do that, Ranboo wasn’t worth the hassle. It seemed to deter Quackity though, who backed away and stared at the ground angrily.

“How about you explain your game to us Ranboo.” Tubbo suggested, trying to keep some semblance of normal conversation going. “Yeah, I- okay.” Ranboo agreed, but he was on autopilot, the panic from the encounter with Quackity lingered in his chest. Wait. It was raining! His game couldn’t work properly in the rain. People who were skilled enough with a trident could cheat and fly through the rain, disregarding the carefully placed puddles of water. Ranboo hadn’t accounted for the weather. 

He mentioned it when explaining the game to the attendees, “Due to the rain it could be quite easy to cheat, but, uh, don’t. it’ll ruin the challenge if you do, y’know?” he received a few nods. And as the first person stepped up to try his game, Ranboo took a second to assess the crowd.

There was a surprisingly high amount of people there. Ranboo didn’t think there was that many people with L’manburg spirit left, but then again, most people probably weren’t there to celebrate L’manburg. Instead, they were probably enticed by the promise of a party and free food. He didn’t recognize most of the people, now that they’d split up, some at each game, others just milling about and eating the food someone must’ve given out earlier, Ranboo realized he was struggling to pick out faces he recognised. Maybe that was his fault, or not. This whole situation was getting a bit much now, too many people, too much action. Okay, this is fine. You just need to calm down and focus.

Where was everyone? Fundy was stood chatting to a woman stood in a small group… Nikki! Yes, he recognised her pretty, striped jumper. Next to her was Eret, their height helped them stand out amongst the blur of people.

Quackity and Tubbo had gone off again, this time they were stood next to something. What is that? Ranboo stared for a few seconds or maybe minutes, he wasn’t sure, and then it clicked. That was the dunk tank from the last L’manburg festival, he was fairly sure Fundy had told him about that. Apparently, it was super popular, had he fixed it up for today? See? He does care, you shouldn’t have doubted him.

Sufficiently content, Ranboo ambled his way over to the group Fundy was in, hoping to join in with whatever they were chatting about.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
“Everything ready?” Tubbo asked for the umpteenth time, punctuating the question by wringing his hands nervously, “Yep.” Quackity replied, far too casually for the situation at hand. “We should bring him over soon, no point in dragging it out any longer.” “I- “Tubbo faltered, did he really want to do this? Well, he had to, didn’t he? Treason shouldn’t be taken lightly. “Shall we begin then?” Tubbo asked, he was a terrible leader, needing to be told what to do. “Lets.” Quackity said, clapping him on the back and walking towards Ranboo, Tubbo trailed behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Things were looking up! Today started rough, but the past hour had been nothing short of pleasant, it felt like it had been forever since he’s talked with Niki and Eret. He’d almost forgotten how nice they both were. They actively included him in the conversation, and no one had talked over him at all! The rain had also cleared up a while ago which just added to Ranboo’s newfound good mood, he wasn’t sure why he’d been so panicked last night. Looking back, it was rather silly of him.

“Ranboo?” He jumped at Tubbo’s voice; he came out of nowhere! “I need to discuss some things with you, please come with me.” Why was he being all professional? “Sure!” Ranboo tried to sound as positive as possible, he didn’t want to upset Tubbo, he had enough on his place as it was. The shorter boy led him away from the group, and up to the housing area of L’manburg. They were stood in a little alleyway between two homes. “What’s up?” He asked before noticing the expression on Tubbo’s face, he looked distraught. “Hey are you okay?” He was concerned now, what was going on? “I’m sorry” Tubbo spoke softly, turning away from him.

Ranboo heard footsteps from behind, but It was already too late. No one heard Ranboo getting hit over the head with a shovel, no one saw him crumple to the floor, no one even bothered to go looking for him after he disappeared. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ranboo awoke in a glass chamber, chained down and with absolutely no idea how he had gotten there. He didn’t remember falling asleep. Was the festival over? No, he could hear people, he could hear Quackity. The older man’s voice was booming over the speaker system at the podium, so loud it hurt Ranboo’s ears.

What was going on?

“Now, you’re probably wondering why we called you up here… If you could please look over this away,” Quackity yelled excitedly, drawing all eyes up to himself. “You will now hear the reason this festival is really being held!” He cleared his throat. “Recently, we found out some devastating news… there is a traitor in our midst. And we all know L’manburg doesn’t take treason lightly.” “Fundy, if you would, please.” The request was so vague, for a second, nobody knew what he was alluding to. By the time they did, it was much too late.

Fundy, who had been stood next to where Ranboo was trapped, nodded, he smiled as he gripped the lever in front of him in a clawed hand and pulled.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

What’s happening? What is Quackity talking about? He knows about him being a traitor. Did he put him in here? Was he going to kill him?

Ranboo sank down to the floor of his confinement, desperately trying to control his erratic breathing. It was useless, he ripped off his mask, what was happening? The noise in his head was getting too loud, he was so scared. 

Was someone giggling?

Ranboo whipped his head to the right, and stared wide eyed as Fundy, his friend, his ally, laughed at him.

Then suddenly, the tank was filling with water.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

The blood curdling scream from inside the tank sent the festival into mayhem. 

Cries of outrage filled the crowd, just like the last ‘festival’, Niki’s voice could be heard over the rest. She looked at her friend, the boy she had promised to protect, suffering and then back at the new dictator stood above them all, cackling at a child’s demise, and she lost it. “How DARE you! You are disgusting, stop this at once!” She was pushing her way to the front of the crowd, “That boy is a child, and you are hurting him! He is going to die! How can you stand here and laugh?” She was halfway up to the podium now, Tubbo came up to her and he grabbed her arm. “Let go of me you sorry excuse for a president.” She spat at him, how could he let this happen again? Tubbo was the victim of this exact situation less than a year ago, how could he do this? She shoved him with all her strength and sent the kid stumbling down the stairs, not bothering to look back.

She let this happen last time, she would not allow history to repeat itself. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Tommy and Techno watched in horror as the festival they’d planned to attack spiraled into bloodshed of its own accord. After Niki had stepped up to the podium and unsheathed her sword, the audience followed her lead. People turned on each other, some people were completely unarmed, they were innocents, yet they faced the wrath of the second Manburg massacre.

“Oh god.” Tommy mumbled, bright blue eyes wide, watching the blood bath around the main stage, he seemed to be unable to speak, stunned into silence at the sight. Whereas Techno’s landed on the chamber Ranboo was in, it was full to the top with water. Ranboo beat and clawed against the glass, but his attempts were getting weaker by the second, he was going to drown. Drowning a half Endermen, cruel, disgusting, clever, the voices in his head had differing opinions on the matter. Most of them were relishing in the violence unravelling before them, but the rest were ordering him to help the poor kid. Friend is hurt. Little brother is hurt. Going to die. Help him help him help HIM HELP HIM HELPHELPHELP!

He’d made up his mind, Ranboo didn’t have much longer, he had to act, “Come on Tommy, we gotta save your friend.” He shoved an invisibility potion into his brother’s hands and then took off towards the torture chamber.

This was worse than Tubbo’s execution, Techno hadn’t wanted him to suffer, the only reason he survived is because of how panicked techno had been. His trembling hands unable to keep a proper grip on the crossbow and causing his aim to be off. This, on the other hand, was meant to be a slow, painful death. 

Focus, how are you going to save him? 

The best plans, in techno’s opinion, where often the simplest; run over, break the glass, grab Ranboo, call Phil and split. Simple plans were especially good when you can’t talk to who you’re working with, but you need them to understand. He didn’t have time to explain to Tommy, but he should catch on pretty quick.

He could probably shatter the glass with one kick, let’s see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Ranboo was in agony, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. He was dying.

His whole body burned, the water destroying his flesh like acid, he wasn’t going to survive this, there was just no way. No one was coming to save him, and he couldn’t do much more than bang on the glass. He couldn’t even do that anymore, it hurt too much to move.

Just as he was about to pass out, black invading his eyes and eyelids heavy, the glass in front of him smashed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

With one swift kick, techno made a whole wide enough to grab Ranboo through. He leaned in and put his hand under his shoulders, dragging the lanky hybrid out onto the grass. He looked gruesome, the entire right half of his body looked as if he’d been burned horribly, the left side only a little better. “Come on, you can’t die now, we’ve already gone through all this effort to save you, idiot.” he whispered as he placed a totem in the barely conscious boy’s hands, “Don’t let go of that okay?” he ordered before rushing over to aid tommy in his fight against Fundy.

For a second, Techno debated on whether or not Tommy could carry Ranboo, briefly glancing down at his prosthetic leg, but he shook that thought away. Tommy isn’t weak, he could handle it, you’re underestimating him, again. “Can you grab Ranboo and get outta here? Call Phil and have him pick you up, okay?” Tommy nodded exaggeratively so techno could see, even with only his armor visible. He didn’t speak, to the people of L’manburg, he was dead, and they wanted to save that reveal for a special occasion. 

Tommy rushed over to Ranboo and scooped him up immediately, his friend was way taller than he was, but Tommy was running on adrenaline and the highs of all the potions he’d taken, and right now? He felt like he could lift a building, nothing was going to stop him from protecting his friend.

He ran and ran until L’manburg was far behind him, and he didn’t stop running until he was in front of the nether portal in dream smp territory. He paused for a second and leant against the frame sliding down to the floor, Ranboo in tow. He shot Phil an embarrassingly shaky message through the communicator techno made him and took a moment to breathe. 

Dad answered almost instantly, “I’ll be right there, just sit tight.” Tommy was hyper aware of how out in the open they were, if someone were to see them right now… No, let’s just hope that everyone is preoccupied with the festival. There had been so many people there, it was unlikely anyone would be around here for a few hours, it was going to be fine.

When Phil arrived, he took Ranboo almost instantly, a worried look on his face, and then asked tommy if he was alright. “Yeah, I’m fine I just want to go home” “Of course, let’s get going” His father smiled down at him comfortingly and then walked into the nether portal, Ranboo in his arms. It annoyed tommy how stupidly strong his dad was, he was significantly smaller than tommy, yet he carried Ranboo with ease, without potions. It was insane.

He continued to distract himself with equally silly tangents as they made their way through the nether, keeping his mind as far away from the thought that Ranboo might not make it all the way home.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Upon arriving at the house, Phil immediately got to work on Ranboo, he noted the totem that hung loosely in his hand, Techno must’ve given it to him, good. It warmed Phil’s heart to see his boys caring about people, especially techno, he had trouble with relationships. Now, Phil had told himself he wouldn’t be adopting anymore kids after Tommy but considering how much all his sons seemed to care about Ranboo, it was looking like he wouldn’t have much of a choice.

Its not the time to be thinking about adoption though, right now he had to focus on making sure Ranboo didn’t die.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Tommy watched Phil as he worked, he was so quick when it came to stuff like this, makes you wonder how often he’s had to tend to life threatening wounds over the years. He didn’t address tommy much, fully focused on Ranboo, but occasionally he would ask him to run down and grab something, a potion, or more bandages, or whatever. Since he’d started calming down, tommy found himself basically on autopilot, he was absolutely shattered, once Phil finished and Ranboo was alright, he was hopping straight in bed and sleeping for a week.

Just then, the sound of the door being opened alerted tommy to his brother’s presence. “Techno!” he bounded down the stairs to greet him and techno laughed. Reaching over to ruffle his hair, but stopping halfway, after noticing the red staining his palms. “Ewww you are fuckin covered in blood, big man. Go change, what would Phil do if you got some on his carpet?” Tommy chided, laughing all the while. “Shut up Tommy, I’m sure Phil wouldn’t be too angry is I got blood on the carpet.” He sighed, “I beg to differ” the younger continued. “I’d love to argue with you about that, but I think there are more urgent matters to attend to.” Techno drawled, stomping his way up the stairs.

Once he arrived upstairs, he was met with Phil, his arms full of empty potion bottles and a content smile on his face. “He’s alright then?” Techno asked, looking over at the boy now asleep in Tommy’s bed. “Yeah, he should be,” Phil replied, techno decided to take some of the bottles from him, “he’ll be asleep for a bit, but he’ll live.” He finished and began to make his way down to the messy chest room. “We really need to sort this.” He commented, dumping the contents in his arms into a random chest, “I’ve been sayin’ that for months” Techno replied, following his lead.

Despite the patient upstairs, the rest of the evening in the family’s little cottage was surprisingly peaceful. Techno made everybody jacket potatoes and Ghostbur came back later in the evening, half melted, but happy, nonetheless. Soon after tommy trudged upstairs, proclaiming he was going to bed, and techno and Phil caught Ghostbur up on what was happening.

Ghostbur, elated at the thought of a new guest rushed upstairs to go see him, this should’ve been a very normal action, but only a few seconds after he sprung from the couch a shout rang through the house, “Phil, Techno!” At the sound of their names, said pair ran up to go see what happened, only to find Ghostbur pointing at the bed, “Aw look!” Tommy was sat at the side of Ranboo’s head, slumped over and very obviously asleep. “Ghostbur, never do that again, you scared the life out of me!” Phil complained, techno nodded along. “Sorry” Ghostbur replied, “We should get tommy to bed though.” Techno spoke quietly, hoisting his little brother out of his seat ad taking him up to his bed.

Ghostbur floated back down the steps, and Phil was left alone. All his boys were finally together again, it wasn’t perfect, but he was happy, nonetheless.


End file.
